When you find out he’s not ready for marriage and you are, things can get pretty dicey. But as long as you approach the matter smartly, you should find a solution that works for you.
Ask yourself why you cannot wait
Are you being pressured by friends or family to take that plunge? Are you really ready to get married or you just think you are because of what people around you are saying. If he’s not ready for marriage and you are, then you have to first ensure that you’re taking that next step for the right reason. You should not put pressure on your man when you yourself aren’t even sure it’s what you want.
Ask him why he’s not ready
If he’s not ready for marriage, he shouldn’t just shrug his shoulders and tell you no. You should both talk about it. Is he hoping to achieve something before tying the knot or is he scared of that commitment altogether? If he has a tangible reason for waiting, then move on to the next step.
Are his reasons worth waiting for?
Now it’s time for more self-reflection. Are his reasons worth waiting for? If, for instance, he wants to maintain a level of financial stability before marriage, you may want to ask him to give you a tentative time he might be ready. And then you should consider if you can actually wait for him to get there.
Can a compromise be had?
Let’s say he wants to have N1m in his savings account while you’re ready to get married tomorrow, you should both talk about if you can compromise. For instance, will it be doable if he has N500k in his savings? A middle ground may be possible if you talk about it.
Be ready to let go
If he’s not ready for marriage and has no solid reason for waiting. Or if you are really ready to get married soon and his plans aren’t suited to yours, then you may want to let the relationship go and find someone that’s in the same place you are. The last thing you want to do is waste time and hope for something that will probably not happen.